Swiping Isn't Doing it for Me.

Okay, I'll admit it. I am a recovering swiping addict. There was a time when I would swipe several times a day. I'd later swear off swiping to all of my friends and make them promise to check in with me to make sure I hadn't reinstalled the apps. While I love my friends, they were terrible for holding me accountable. Thankfully, I don't have any serious addictions that would require an intervention. 

In an earlier post, I challenged the idea that expectation is not the killer of all joy and that it is in fact hope. Months later, I still pretty much stand by that, at least as far as dating is concerned. I’ve lost steam after endless swiping and minimal results. I had met a couple guys who were initially kind and showed potential, but then I quickly discovered I was more of a place holder. That stung and I pretty much abandoned the idea of dating back in March. It hasn't been all bad though. I've developed this new sense of myself I don't think I had. For the most part, this is probably the happiest I've been while being single since my last long-term relationship ended two years ago. That being said, it was like salt in my wound when I ended up in the hospital and they asked for my emergency contact. I said, "I don't have one" to which the nurse replied, "Okay, I'll just say you don't want one." She must have seen the look on my face because she quickly recovered with, "I mean that you don't have one."

One of my friends gave me this quote a while back that really resonated with me. "Instead of looking for the one, be the one." Deep, right? Here is another one I came across: "Instead of searching for love, search for life and the love you seek will find you." That's kind of what I've been trying to do. I had mentioned in my previous post that I've been working on growing my circle of friends, pushing the edges of my comfort zone, and working on my career. I also start an online MS program in August. I never thought I would go back to school, but now seems like a good time to make it happen. 

Having a vibrant social life is very important to me. I've always felt that what I'm doing is less important than who I'm doing it with. While swiping isn't doing it for me, I haven't given up on the idea that someone out there is looking for me. I'm not going to sit right down here and wait, but I'm also not going to obsess over finding him. I'll continue to live my life and hopefully our paths will cross. Tomorrow, I'll be participating in a pub crawl with over 150 other singles in the area who will be wearing color coded wrist bands to communicate what they are looking for. I love the transparency of it and meeting people IRL. The cherry on the top is I'll be "crawling" with three of my single friends. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.

Be authentic in your journey.

 

I'm Sorry I've Been Absent

I know, I know. When I started this blog, I hadn't intended to abandon it for months at a time. Honestly, my schedule has been really full and making it hard to give the attention to this blog I should. I see I actually have a handful of readers, so thanks! I'm actually doing this blog more for you than for me... okay, maybe 50/50. It does help me process and I'm hoping it will help you feel more connected during a time when people are... well, less connected.

So, I said I've been busy, but I haven't been busy dating. Busy is probably an understatement. How have I been filling my time? 

I have been attending a lot of Meetups since February. One of my goals has been to increase my girlfriend circle. The easiest way to do that is to attend events that sound interesting to me, and I already have something in common with everyone else who shows up. As of now, I've attended 36 Meetups this year and I have seven more in July coming up in the next couple of weeks. My girlfriend circle has definitely expanded. I've made two great friends and I'm also being intentional about spending more time with the women I already know. Meetup has been great. I've done hikes, pub crawls, bowling, various game groups, dance nights, brunch, dinner, snow tubing and even camping. If you're looking to expand your circle or you just want to meet people IRL to do fun stuff, check it out. Meetup - We are what we do. It doesn't cost money and it isn't a dating site. I've even gotten my 71-year-old mother attending events.

In addition to attending a lot of events, I decided to start my own group. If you live in the Portland/Vancouver area, check it out. My group is called Brunch Books and Brews. I like to operate from the position of being comfortably uncomfortable. I'm definitely and extrovert, but I can be shy. Yep, we do exist. There have been times I've been in social settings where I felt unnoticed or unwelcomed. For some people, it's hard to get them to attend social gatherings where they may not know anyone. I love being an organizer because I want to interact with those people who feel nervous about attending events. I've always done that when attending events in other groups, but now it's my RESPONSIBILITY to make sure it happens. 

The other things taking up my time have been far less social. I badly sprained my ankle almost two weeks before school ended. I spent most of June/July in a walking boot and that has made everything slower and more challenging. A couple weeks after my injury, I developed a blood clot in my leg. Apparently, it isn't too uncommon for something like this to happen after an injury. Lucky me :) Even though the school year ended rather roughly for me, I couldn't seem to shut off my teacher brain. For two solid weeks after summer started, I've taken 28 hours of professional development since school ended less than three weeks ago. Not being very mobile sounds like a good excuse to take PD over Zoom, but honestly, I would have done it anyway.

As if my schedule hasn't been full enough with work and social events, I am starting an online MS program on August 1. 

Okay, that's pretty much it. That's why I've disappeared.

Be authentic in your journey.